some poems

My heart is a lonely ember
let it not die out or inflame
as the wind whispers to my dismal soul,
I fight back the waters rush
...

I was without a home
that I could rest,
I made chaos my home,
I lay my head upon bedlam.

I was without a heart
that I could love,
I made pain my love
I am the masochist's smile

I was without a mind
that I could think,
I made logic my mind
I am the solipsist

I was without grief
that I could cry,
I made laughter my grief
I am the calm of the apathist

I was without soul
that I could exist,
I made her my soul
I am her

I am without chaos
my dreams escape me
I am a restless wanderer

I am without pain
my eyes betray love
I am a darkened heart

I am without logic
my mind is slain by the shadows
I am trapped insanity

I am without laughter
my tears belie my apathy
I am hopelessness frustrated

I am without her
she no longer forms patterned on the wall
I am beside existence

...

were I a moth, I'd fly to the light
to be caressed by its warmth and embraced by its brilliance
in faith it'd sprinkle its luminosity beneath my wings
gliding upon rays of fragrant bliss, I'd smile
were it to burn my skin, I'd fly surer
unabashedly chasing the flame
my shadows would pose as phantoms on the walls I'd flee
would you stop me?
would you doubt my wisdom?
would you follow me or stay in my shadow?
I am a moth chasing the ember of my soul
let me fly
follow me
for my wisdom is pure
and my passion is base
there is beauty in the flame
...
my only want is to be your moon,
to reflect your beauty , muddled and dull in my eyes
let me stay by your side
to be the darker background to your shine
...
that I could hold your pain in my bosom
surrender unto me your heart